Welcome to the history of the Internet. For some people the history of the Internet can be quite a boring subject, so to make the article more entertaining a few pieces of obvious fiction have been added in.
History of the Internet
1858 – 1866
- The creation of the transatlantic cable enabled direct communication over the Atlantic. Cables currently connect all continents and are the main hub for telecommunications. The transatlantic cable is your friend.
- Was the year the telephone was created. Telephones are important as they formed the backbone of the Internet utilizing modems to enable digital to audio conversions and allowing computers to transferee data over a telephone network. In addition to forming the backbone of the Internet telephones also allow us to order pizza without putting on trousers.
- The USSR launched Sputnik, the first artificial earth satellite. This formed the start of global telecommunications. Satellites are an important part of data transmission and due to the launch of Sputnik the USA formed the Advanced Research Projects Agency within the Department of Defense to compete with military technology. To the USA’s dismay the second artificial earth satellite was launched by Santa to aid him in the fight against naughty children but was shot down in 1980 after its was hacked into by Gary Glitter.
1962 – 1968
- The creation of Packet-switching (PS) networks. I’m not writing about switching your favorite bag of crisps with a friend, the Internet relies on packets to transfer data. This was created for the security of military data over networks during the cold war. Data is split up into smaller packets of data and may be sent through different routes to avoid interception. The USA would have been very upset had the Soviet Union intercepted the raunchy ramblings of President Eisenhower.
- The Department of Defense connects the first node to ARPANET this was intended to be America’s nuke-proof communications network at the height of the Cold War. Meanwhile in the jungle APENET was launched making use of new baboon browsing technology enabling the free trade of bananas throughout the jungle.
1971 – 1972
- The first communications over a network. This was achieved via email over ARPANET. Oh yeah!
- The University of London connects to ARPANET making it one of the first international connections. This was a massive leap for students everywhere as now their coursework could be more efficiently plagiarized.
- File Transfer protocol (FTP) was announced, FTP is how computers send and receive data.
- Networks start to be used by people, this is the year that Queen Elizabeth sends out her first email… Attached to it were pictures of her cat mittens.
- This is the year that the Internet starts to take off for the use of email. The number of hosts grew to more than 100. Hooray for the Internet!
- The first online browser based games start to emerge in the forms of simple board games and interactive text based dungeon games to the joy of clammy basement dwellers everywhere!
- The start of ‘the smiley’ 🙂 and ‘the frowner’ 🙁 used to show emotions though email.
- Joint Academic Network (JANET) is built to connect universities in the UK over the Internet.
- The number of hosts now exceeds 1,000.
- Domain Name Server (DNS) is introduced allowing letter based URL’s, example: www.ratemyteapot.co.uk previously you would have to type in the IP address of a website, example: 192.168.2.1
- The year of the first Internet worm created by Robert Morris. Robert Morris had worms… It infected roughly 6000 computers. The worm did not cause any physical damage to computers, but clogged up the Internet worse than a fast food restaurant’s toilet.
- The Internet became commercialized with the number of hosts exceeding 28,000, just shy of the number of Paris Hilton’s partners.
- The invention of the World Wide Web makes information easier to publish and access on the Internet thanks to Tim Berners-Lee his colleges at CERN. Thanks Tim!
- Marc Andreesen launches web-browser Mosaic. The browser is a massive success. Andreesen goes on to develop the Netscape web browser. Meanwhile in the jungle baboon browser is no longer needed and the apes have built a replica of the Star Ship Enterprise and taken it to explore the far corners of our galaxy.
- The search engine Alta Vista was launched in this year. Alta Vista claimed it could store and index the HTML from every Internet page.
- ‘Jerry and David’s Guide to the World Wide Web’ is renamed Yahoo. With over 100,000 visitors it begins displaying adverts.
- Jeff Bezos launches Amazon.com using his website to sell books. For those of you who are too young to remember; books were used many years ago before there was anything fun to do.
- The launch of eBay enabling Internet users to trade with each other, kleptomaniacs around the world rejoiced.
- Microsoft decides to try and monopolize the Internet browser market and integrates Internet Explorer as part of the Windows operating system giving serious competition to other browsers which were mostly paid applications. Bill Gates found this method allot more effective than the angry letters he had been sending telling them to please stop.
- The creation of Macromedia Flash 1.0 allowed animation on web pages. Early adopters of this technology include Disney and MSN. This was also the year Winnie the Pooh was publicly exposed for flaunting his sticky honey pot to Piglet via MSN web cam. In response Christopher Robbin released a statement to the press revealing Pooh was in fact yellow due to the medical condition cirrhosis of the liver, caused by his addiction to alcohol. He added that his addiction might be somewhat to blame for his sticky perversions.
- The creation of Google. The site gains popularity due to its simple design in comparison with other search engine providers who fill their pages with animated adverts. Also Google introduces a page ranking system using links to assess the popularity of a website.
- Napster is launched allowing users to share MP3 music using peer-to-peer (P2P). Record labels become very angry because making billions of dollars every year just isn’t enough for them. By July 2001 Napster is practically stopped. The hilarity of it all is that it was totally in vain as music piracy still lives on.
- The approval of the merger of AOL and Time Warner. AOL started in 1985 and became one of the world’s biggest media companies. Nowadays AOL’s has become one of the main providers of free drink coasters, their free install disks sit under millions of mugs around the world. In all fairness to AOL not all their install disks are used as drinks coasters, they make great Frisbees too!
- Broadband becomes more popular and digital music is starting to be sold though online stores like Napster and iTunes.
- Facebook is launched by Mark Zuckerberg at Harvard University. Within three years, the social networking site has 30 million members. By 2009, Facebook boasts of over 200 million active users of their facebook heroin, who have logged in within the last 30 days.
- Television and phone companies start to feel threatened by the ever-growing Internet. Youtube is launched allowing people to post videos and create user profiles. A year after Youtube’s launch Google purchases it for $1.65 billion, at the time 65,000 new videos were being uploaded and 100 million watched daily. To the dismay of the telephone companies Skype and other free internet based phone call services threaten their business. Ebay purchases Skype for $2.6 billion but fails to incoperate it into their core business successfully.
- Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp purchases Intermix Media, the owner of Myspace.com, for $580 million (£332.85 million). The poster boy of Myspace ‘Tom’ thanks all the emo teens for the cash as he sniffs another line off his giant golden ‘My Chemical Romance’ statue bbeside his platinum plated swimming pool.
- Twitter is created, allowing people all over the world to find out what friends and celebrities had for lunch and other inane information about themselves. No doubt the world would be a terrible place without being able to access such important information.
- Jack Sheng becomes the first person to achive an eBay feedback score of one million. Starting with only $500, Jack built a $40 million business selling gadgets. In reaction eBay created a shooting silver star to designate users with a feedback score of over a million. In celebration Jack put this wife up for sale with a starting bid of $0.01, he received his first negative feedback as she turned out to be an inflatable dolphin with a puncture.
- The year of Google’s tenth birthday. Google’s search engine now indexes over 1 trillion unique URL’s and creates its own internet browser ‘Google Chrome’. In addition Google now has its own webmail and document collaboration. With names like ‘Google Chrome’ and ‘G-Mail’ people start to wonder if the owner of Google is really Snoop Dog.
- Mobile Internet becomes extremely popular with over 95million mobile internet subscribers and 40million active users. Mobile Internet generated $1.7 billion in revenue in the first quarter of 2008.
- Actor Ashton Kutcher becomes the first person on Twitter to have a million followers subscribing to his ‘tweets’. His achievement left a puzzling question unanswered… why?
- The BBC announces its iPlayer will go high definition. It was first launched Christmas 2007 and is used to stream programmes over the Internet for up to a week after their television broadcast. There were 1.5 million new broadband subscribers in 2008.
- Facebook announces it has 400 million active members which is larger than the population of the US and UK combined. In celebration Facebook begins to plan its invasion of China to start its own country ‘Facetopia’.